Cheap Sunglasses
by youbettago
Summary: Amelia from SVM and Ray from GK hook it the F up in this fun flirty and filled-with-lemons fic. Collab between Pixiegiggles and Youbettago! Warning: Smutty, but oh so worth it.


_**A/N~ Hola! Como estas? Muy bien, e tu? Okay, Okay... I'll continue in English. :D WELCOME! Here is the most fuckawesometastical crossover/collaboration you'll see today! *gigglesnort***_

_**So, this all started when the sweet-cheeked Pixiegiggles/Nutellah00r and I were talking about her wonderful fic The F Stop. She had me write a sweet little side-shot/outtake of Ames and Ray after I did my best Ray impression for the 'RECON party night' chappie. Well, those crazy kids just wouldn't shut the F up while I was on my Mexican vacay, so I wrote this little ditty. **_

_**Here's the deal: This Ray is totally PJ Ransone. It's his character from Generation Kill, as an actor. Our darling Amelia is straight from Southern Vampire Mysteries. Also, Pixie and I will be alternating chapter duties and POVs. She's writing as Ames, I'm writing as Ray. This chappie is mine, and I hope you all love it. If you've read my stuff before, you know it's smutty and fun. :D You won't be disappointed with this on either of those fronts. **_

If you are totes lost, please click http: / www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5382421/20/The_FStop for Amelia's side of this first. ;)

_**Warning! Lemons ahead! Love ya'all, and thanks for clicking. :D**_

_**a**_

* * *

As soon as the picture of her came across the Sookster's phone, I knew I was in trouble. She was fucking adorable with her little auburn bob and her eyes crossed and tongue sticking out. Yeah, that was the perfect picture to lure in a jackass like me. And that voice? When I answered, I thought there was no way the sexified Sally on screen could be any more fuckhot. I thought I'd get an earful of Selma or Thelma from the Simpsons. Fuck. No. She sounded like a water sprite. She was bouncy and squeaky, and when I told her who I was she actually squealed a little bit and put on the sex voice.

"So, what are you wearing, Ray?" She'd asked me. I grinned like an idiot as Sookie continued to be mesmerized by Mr. Perfect Swedish Abs. I turned away from her drooling self and smiled as I looked down at my clothing and told answered the seductress on the other end.

She was definitely going in for the kill when she answered the same question for me.

"Just a white wife beater and boxers. You wanna see?" Shit and yes, little lady. I gave her my digits and she said she'd send me a pic. Holy hell my night was looking up.

I found out her name was Amelia and she was Sookie's best friend. She lived out here and was a big fan. Said she followed me on Twitter, so I threw out a special tweet just for her. Her adorable snort-giggle clued me in to when she'd seen it and then she sent me a DM to let me know it was her.

"Eric's Ass Stalker? What, no love for Ray?" We had a good laugh about it until she explained it was just a companion account to Sookie's while she followed him around.

So then we talked about how these two seemed to be dancing around each other. I confided in her that he'd told me he was a smitten little kitten. Okay, so Eric would never all out admit to something like that, but I could just tell from what he _did_ tell me. Ames told me that Sookie was pretty much the same way. God, why the fuck did people have to do that?

"Why can't they just admit they like each other? I fucking hate that bullshit! Honesty, people. Use it. It avoids all sorts of confusion!" I practically huffed it out.

"I'm the same way. People say I'm too honest sometimes. I think that's why I've been single so long, no man can take the brutal honesty and not get their poor wittle feewings hurt."

"Sister, you're perfect for me. If you can dish it out, it usually means you can take it. Let's hook up."

She did that adorable giggle-snort thing again and said she'd text me to get together tomorrow. _Perfect._

The conversation took a turn then, as we both got fairly flirty. I was just about to tell her how much I was going to enjoy seeing that wifebeater.. on her floor, when Sookie came rushing up to re-procure her phone.

"Abort abort!"

I grinned the rest of the night. Especially after sweet little Amelia sent me a text with a naughty caption and a wife beater that was pulled suspiciously tight against her perfect chest.

And that was how I came to be sitting at the beach café in my gold-rimmed pimp glasses and 'I Love Beer' t-shirt.

I was perusing the menu, when I heard the chair across from me scrape and a long winded sigh was let out. Tilting the menu down and pushing the glasses down the bridge of my nose, I let out a long whistle as the hotness across from me was revealed.

"Sugar, you're finer than twice milled flour. What the FUCK are you doing at lunch with a sad SOB like me?"

Amelia smiled and winked at me as she leaned to the side to check me out from head to toe.

"Honey, I'm sure I don't know what you mean. A fine, FINE, gentleman such as yourself surely has admirers lining up around the block." She said it in a Gone with the Wind voice. I'm pretty sure I got an erection on the spot.

Lunch was fucktastic. We liked the same music and movies. She was a fan of my work, but didn't get all crazy fangirl on me, which was fucking awesome.

When it became impossible to ignore our waitress's huffing and puffing, nearly two hours after our dishes had been cleared away, I finally had a moment of clarity.

"How much time have you got, hot stuff?"

She narrowed her eyes as a smirk came across her face. "How much time do I need, Ray?"

_For fucking ever._ "Three days."

She tapped her index finger on her chin as she gazed skyward, then a broad grin spread across her face as she looked back to me. "I'm in."

And just like that we was goin' to Mexico.

She had originally laughed when I pulled up to her apartment in The Beast. Now, chick was fully digging it.

"I don't know how you do it, but you make this car look manly."

What? You've never seen a tatted up motherfucker driving a VW Beetle convertible? Fuck you, then. At least it's black and not fruity yellow or something.

"Yeah, I got it so I could lure in all the Betties." I smirked as we pulled away from the border crossing and delved farther into the Mexican countryside.

"So, what exactly are we doing here, Ray?" Amelia fiddled with my budvase as she asked it.

"Oh, you know. Drinking, debauchery, donkey shows. All the D's." I said that last part while staring at her chest. She definitely got the message.

"You wanna do the D's?" She asked, her hands now squeezing said D's and making my pants too tight to shift. I groaned as I adjusted myself all too visibly.

"Killin' me, smalls. Killin' me."

It wasn't just about sex with Amelia. Sure, she was fucking attractive as hell. But her body was only part of that attractiveness. Girl was straight up cool. She'd made us 'road snacks', she'd brought her MP3 player which was loaded with some bad-assery that most people would find revolting. She'd worn a bikini top under the tie dyed tank top she had on, and lord help me, I was praying for a heat wave so she'd strip the tank. She'd also told me, in no uncertain terms, that she was down to eat the worm.

I wanted to be at our hotel like yesterday.

This wasn't my first trip to Mexico. Usually I came with a few guys, never with women. That was the whole point... to go and _find_ women. This trip was a first for me. I booked one of the better of the hotels I'd stayed at, this one had a pool and was lacking in the roach department. It was an old Spanish-style mansion with a kickass courtyard that all the rooms opened to. It was also just a few blocks from downtown and all the raunchy little Mexi-bars that we'd be painting red in a scant five hours when the sun went down.

Amelia started getting all giddy and fucking cute bouncing in her seat as I pulled The Beast up to the hotel.

"Casa Bonita," she read from the cheesy wooden sign out front in desperate need of a paintjob. "I like it. Looks quiet... for now." She winked at me as the devil horns poked out of her head.

I laughed as we grabbed our bags and checked in.

Room 306 was quickly debauched. We made it to the door, then _through_ the door, but that was where civilities ended. I flung the bags into the living area as she did the same. Amelia's curves all but flew at me, pinning my lanky ass to the door, which was now securely locked.

She quickly shucked her tank top and showed me her string bikini. _Lordhavemercy._

"You said you wanted to play with some D's. Have fun." She stepped away from me, and kept going without breaking my gaze until she backed through the door to the bedroom, then turned and ran inside while giggling. I was awestruck at the sight of that cleavage. Holy fucking hell, I could motorboat that all damn day. I glanced at my watch: 1pm. I smiled; yeah, that's pretty much what I _would_ do all day.

I tore my shirt off as I called out to her "Hold on to your panties! I'm comin' to play!"

I stalked into the bedroom, only to find the little fun fairy literally holding her panties. On the crook of her finger. _Up in the air_.

"Great Scott!" I stalled, my hands on the fly of my pants. She was so fucking hot up on her knees on the bed with nothing but a necklace on.

"Great Scott? Baby, bring that 1.21 jiggawatts of sexy over here and let me show you how _I_ play."

What kind of a man would I be if I didn't oblige the lady?

I dropped trou and jumped up onto the bed on all fours. Crawling my way over to her at a slow pace just about broke my self control, but I made it. When I was in front of her glorious naked body, I leaned forward and licked her navel. She giggled and asked what I was doing.

"I personally hate belly buttons. I'm getting my least favorite part of the meal out of the way so I can concentrate on all the good parts."

I didn't give her a chance to reply before dipping my face down to her silky smooth shaved pussy and going to town.

Honey bunny fell backwards and my mouth stayed with her, lapping at all that dripping goodness she had for me. I moaned at the taste of her. Fuck! It was like sweet strawberries and champagne. Amelia could easily become my own personal cocaine if I wasn't careful.

Her silky milky legs went up over my shoulders as I spread her wide and dined on her delicious nectar. I couldn't help myself; I gorged. I tongue fucked her hard as I stroked at her clit and lips with my hands.

"Fuck Amelia, I could eat you all day. You're so fucking sweet, girl!"

"Shut. Up. Shutup. Stop talking, keep licking."

I smiled against her drenched pussy. She was so bossy when she was getting fucked. I loved it.

Doing as she asked, I kept at her. I could feel her squeezing around my tongue every time I pressed it into her deliciously tight pussy. I took a couple of long, slow licks the length of her lips, careful to cover every speck of her. When I reached the top, I lightly nibbled her clit and she burst apart at the seams. She shuddered and moaned and thrashed beneath me and I couldn't help but grin like a fool and chuckle to myself. After she'd come, I gently went back to my mission and licked up that unique Amelia honey before kissing my way up her stomach.

She had one hand on her face and the other was still squeezing her own breast as I made my way to her unoccupied nipple. I paid it the same respect I'd paid her down below and she started giggling and squirming.

Looking up at her I asked "What?"

"I'm ticklish right after a fucking fantastic orgasm!" She was still squirming beneath me, so I took full advantage.

I ran my tongue along the smooth skin of her side, up her ribs. More squeals. Fuck, even that was sexy.

Honestly, if you can't laugh while having sex and enjoy each other in that way, what's the fucking point? I know, I know, angry hatesex has its place, but for me the ultimate has always been funsex.

"I fucking love that you're ticklish after you come. Love it." Then I bent to her stomach and raspberried her. She cried out and grabbed my head, laughing as she pulled me up to her face. We both seemed to sober in the same instant and the thought that I'd made the girl come – _hard_ – and we hadn't even kissed yet briefly flew across my penis-led brain.

I don't know why, but I actually hesitated as I bent down to kiss her. She had this aura about her, so intense and real. You could tell that with Amelia, it was always 'what you see is what you get'.

Fuck Me. I knew exactly why I'd hesitated. I could easily fall in love with this girl.

Her smile started to falter slightly as she saw the look of indecision on my face, I'm sure. But you know what? Who cares if I fell in love with her. Wasn't love worth it?

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, tentatively and gently at first. When I felt her arms wrap around my neck and her gentle sigh escape just past both our lips, I took her mouth more urgently. Her hands fisted into what of my hair she could grab onto and her mouth started working in tandem with mine. We kissed ourselves silly, into a frenzy. I swear we just rolled around kissing for at least a half an hour. It had been _years_ since I'd just made out with a girl and fuck … it was hotter than I'd ever remembered.

I didn't even remember I had a penis and a set of balls that were desperate for release until Amelia's hand found the three amigos.

I watched her eyes as they just about bugged out of her head.

"What?" I asked her as she continued to stroke my army man with fervor.

She blushed, stalling for a moment before I thrust into her hand. My way of _prodding_ her into a reply.

"It's just ... you are _soooooo_ not proportionate. In a totally fucking_ awesome_ way." She licked her lips and got that devilish grin again as she continued pumping me. Hooker threw me for a loop when she pushed me off of her —with ease I might add—and straddled my hips.

"Baby, I'm gonna buttah' yo' bread," she said.

Yeah, this girl could def do the funsex.

Even as her lips descended on my chest and her tongue started swirling along my tattoos, I was thinking that she was just too fucking unbelievably good to be true. I'd find the flaw eventually. But really, I knew there wasn't one. She was fucktastic.

Her mouth moved to my nipple and I just about lost it. They were for sure one of my 'spots'. Those nips... fuck. They loved her mouth.

"Thank you Sookie's phone!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as my hand weaved into her hair and gently tugged the way I knew would drive her crazy.

Her head bobbed up and looked at me, quirking to the side in puzzlement.

"Without her fucking phone I'd never have met you. So I thank that piece of Japanese technology with everything I've got in me right now."

She smiled and said "Hopefully, you'll have less in you and more in me shortly." Then her head descended down to my ready and willing cock and took it into her naughty little mouth.

"Oh fuck me running!" I was barely able to whisper out. Still, I know she heard me since she was giggling with my cock in her mouth. Fucking amazing feeling, by the way.

Up and down she went, licking the head and flicking it with her tongue. Gently tugging on my balls and then popping one into her mouth. _Fuck_. I watched as she licked me like a lollipop and then sunk down and took it all in her mouth. After five minutes I couldn't take it any longer.

"Fuck Amelia, I need to be inside that sweet fucking pussy of yours. Like, right now."

She giggled again, before releasing my cock with a 'pop' sound and prowling up my body. Her lips came back to mine in a teasing kiss, lifting out of my reach when I tried to kiss her back.

"So, you liked that didja?" She asked as I felt her smooth lower lips brushing on my cock.

All I could do was nod as my hips leapt off the bed, trying desperately to plant myself deep within her.

"You want to fuck me, Ray?" She chewed her bottom lip in an almost innocent way. I totally knew better, chick was a devil; a little sex devil.

"Fuck yeah I want to fuck you." My hands were on her hot as hell thighs, attempting to pull her down to my waiting cock.

She continued to tease me with her soaking wet folds running up and down my rigid rod of flesh when she bent down and whispered in my ear.

"I've thought about what this would feel like for a long time." She'd managed to place me at her entrance and as she finished whispering in my ear she plunged down upon me.

I groaned at the sensations. Fuck, she was so tight and hot for me.

Her head was still tucked down near mine, her hot breath on my ear sending chills down my whole body.

"Fucking Heaven," I whispered to her as I grabbed her hips and began pumping in time with her.

Soon she was bucking and I was panting as I rubbed her clit and she ground on my cock. Fuck, there was no way we were leaving this room tonight for anything other than gathering food to fuel our three day fuck fest.

"Aww fuck, baby. You're gonna make me come…" I couldn't hold out any longer. She just felt too damn good not to let go.

Amelia never let up; instead she rocked with a renewed intensity as she looked down at me. I felt her clench her internal muscles and that did me in.

I cried out loud as I emptied inside of her. I watched as she threw her head back and moaned as well. Thank fuck, she came with me. I would have felt really fucking pathetic if she hadn't.

After a few moments, she rolled off and we curled up with me behind her. My hand absently stroked her side and she squirmed again.

"Another fucktastic orgasm?" I asked her.

All she could do was mumble something that sounded content.

"Siesta time, little lady?" I breathed against her neck. She shivered and nodded as we both drifted off to sleep.

Apparently we were more tired than I thought. We slept all night and I awoke as dawn's early light streamed in through the patio doors.

I just watched Amelia sleep for a while before I decided to get out of bed and get us some grub. I threw on a tee and some board shorts, plus my shades and wandered across the street to the little café there for some breakfast burritos and large coffees. Sneaking back into the room without waking Sleeping Beauty was easier than I thought; Amelia seemed to be a heavy sleeper.

Setting out the feast of Mexican delight on a tray, I brought it over to the bed and set it down, then woke my funsex gal in the only way I ever wanted to again.

I pulled the sheet back and latched on to her bare nipple, sucking it gently and nibbling at the tight little bud. She moaned before being able to form words as she stumbled into consciousness.

"I'm so tweeting about the way you wake a girl up in the AM. Coffee, food and nipple sucking. Perfect." She had a lazy smile on her face as she ruffled my hair and sat up against the pillows.

We scarfed our food like we'd been starved for days. Ames drank only half of her coffee claiming to be 'naturally caffeinated' and graciously donated the rest of it to my needy self.

"So, I've never been here, and no matter how much I'd love to just stay in this bed and fuck you senseless all day, I would really love to check out the town and buy some chintzy souvenirs. Pweese pweese pweety pweese Ray!" She had clasped her hands and was giving me a pouty look. Sarcastic minx. It pushed me one more rung up that ladder I was about to fall off of… and right into love with this girl.

Amelia hopped in the shower while I played on my phone, checking stupid emails and Twitter. Well well, Sookie dear, what are you up to today while I'm fucking your bestie? Probably not a good idea for me to Tweet that. Yeah, I'd let Pixiesticks handle telling Sookie we were boinking.

After teasing me mercilessly and shaking her glorious ass into a flowy skirt – sans underwear, I might add – and a tight tank top, we bounced.

I took Amelia down the touristy main drag and we hit a few of the little hole- in- the- wall shops. Most no bigger than a closet and jam packed with thousands of cheapo trinkets. How the hell did people make a living on three dollar hats?

Ames bought a couple of gaudy little gifts before proclaiming she wanted to see something more interesting.

I scratched my chin for a moment and hoped she was as cool as I thought she was...

"Have you ever heard of a donkey show?"

She was so totally the girl for me. Yeah, sure… I'd been to the classic 'donkey show' once or twice while totally toasted with the guys, but I'd never even _considered _taking a female to see one.

Let alone, think that a girl would be cool about it like Ames was.

We were heading back to Casa Bonita, hand in motherfucking hand, a big sloppy grin on my face and a look of wonderment on hers.

"I mean seriously, it was so nasty... but I just couldn't look away!" Her voice was so full of amazement, a slight giggle behind her words. Fuck, she was amazing.

"That poor man." Man?

"What man?" I asked her as we walked up the stairs to the third floor.

"Ray, come on. The man with the donkey!"

"Pixiesticks, that was a woman taking it from the jackass."

Her hand tugged me to a stop as she looked me dead in the face and said as serious as a stone, "Ray, you're telling me you _didn't_ notice the penis on the _man_ getting it from the donkey?"

Holy. Fucking. Shit. That was a man?

Seconds stretched on as I replayed the scene in my head. No, there couldn't have been a jimmy in there. With all that was going on it wasn't exactly where my attention was focused, but damn … how could I have missed something like that?

"The look on your face right now!"

Hooker was playing a joke on me? Oh yeah, _so_ the woman for me.

"You're in trouble now, Broadway!"

I chased her to the room laughing the whole way. Again, our room was debauched shortly after arrival. Sooner or later, I'd have to show her the view. Actually, that gave me a great idea…

She flopped onto the bed, but I walked right past her to the patio doors, opening them to reveal the awesome view from our room.

"Get your ass out here, woman!" I called to her over my shoulder as I stood at the railing.

She came out and leaned against the rail as well, taking in the waves and the moonlight hitting them. Yeah, soon I'd be hitting something, too.

I moved behind Amelia and raised her skirt. I noticed she pushed her nice little ass out for me as I stroked her smooth cheeks. No matter how tempting it was to fuck her senseless like this right now, I wanted another taste of her fantastic pussy.

I dropped down on my knees behind her and licked her from her clit all the way up to her back. She gasped, and I guessed then that she'd never had anyone lick her _everywhere _before.

"Ray…" she said, but she didn't move. She just kept a death grip on the railing and looked back at me.

"Did you like that, Ass Stalker?"

"I don't know; do it again and I'll tell you."

So I did. Only this time I gave that special little button more tongue attention. When I pulled away after a few minutes, she actually whimpered.

"Was that a yes, you like my tongue on your ass?"

"Don't. Stop."

_Game on._

Twenty minutes of licking her everywhere and teasing that tight little clit and she was coming for me again.

"I don't think I'll ever get enough of the taste of you. It's like champagne and strawberries and I'm a man who loves my fruit and liquor."

"Stop talking and fuck me."

God help me, but I did as the lady wanted.

Once my pants were down around my ankles I was pushing into heaven and hearing Amelia's gasps of pleasure with every thrust.

We were out on the terrace for about a half an hour before I decided I wanted to see her face as I made her come, so I led her inside and sat Indian style on the bed. She straddled my lap and rode me a like a fucking champion cowgirl but it wasn't until I snuck a finger against that tight button around back that she really started to get wild. My other hand was in front rubbing her clit and it didn't take long before she started to come undone. Her face was so gorgeous as her body pulsed with pleasure around me.

She wrung my own orgasm out of me as her hand came to my throat and gave it a light squeeze. Fuck, how the hell did she know I liked it like that? I came even harder than I had before and yelled out towards the ceiling before falling backwards and taking her with me.

"Did I say three days? I meant three weeks." She giggled on my chest as she pulled her head up to look at me.

"You flatter me, Sir." She sat up and that was when I noticed my cock was still semi hard and sill inside Amelia.

Two more rounds of amazing sex and room service flan were had before we conked out again, naked and happy.

It was our last day in Mexico, and we hadn't even gotten drunk.

"I propose you put on that fucking bikini you teased me with and we go sit by the pool and order bucket after bucket of Coronas."

She slipped on the gold shades I had found for her early that morning while I went for our two coffees. She had only drunk half of hers again and given me the rest. It was becoming a routine and I loved it.

We made our way poolside, ordered up our beers, and lounged in the sun. It was glorious and peaceful. The hotel seemed to be only half full so we had our pick of chairs and sat away from everyone else. We would dip in the pool, drink a beer. Lay in the chairs and tan, drink a beer. Climb on one chaise and neck a bit, then drink a beer. It was pretty much awesome.

Dinner rolled around and I took Amelia's hot ass out to one of the nicer shit holes the town had to offer. She wasn't prissy, so it didn't feel like she was uncomfortable in the dingy little restaurant, but I wanted to show this lady a special time. She was worth it.

After our enchiladas and more beers, we stumbled back to the hotel and had fundrunksex. It was sloppy, it was dirty, and it was oh so good.

Amelia learned quickly that I liked a little bit o'kink in my cheerios. She would wrap a hand around my throat as I came, making my orgasm that much more fulfilling. I, in turn, pulled her hair for her just how she liked as I railed into her from behind. We fell off the bed twice that night in our drunken shenanigans. It was epic. I'm sure the front desk got more than a few calls about the racquet we were making.

I was sore when I woke up with Amelia's snoring behind draped across my legs. How the fuck we'd slept like that was beyond me, but I was happy to see that we were still naked and used it to my full advantage as I awoke her with my mouth on her fantastically used pussy. Two more fuckrounds and we packed our bags and loaded up The Beast for the ride back to Commiefornia.

Pulling up to her apartment was bittersweet. Our weekend away had been amazing and I realized I didn't really want it to end. Pixiesticks seemed to feel the same way, as she lingered in the car, tugging on my ear as she nibbled my lip.

"Come upstairs. Stay with me."

"You really wanna keep me around longer?" I asked.

"Ray, I want to keep you as long as I can. Come upstairs, let me cook you dinner and fuck you senseless in my bed tonight." This girl; always one hundred percent with me. So brutally honest, I loved it.

I turned off The Beast and grabbed my bag, following her upstairs with a smile on my face like the Cheshire cat.

A few things I learned over that weekend with Amelia. One: Coronas won't get you wasted unless you're in the sun all damn day getting dehydrated. Two: I would never ever ever tire of the taste of her. She was my crack. Three: When she says she wants to pick out a tattoo for you, trust her. She didn't pick out hearts or butterflies. Badass picked out a badass Mexican death mask with black roses on it. Yeah, that's right, we got tattoos while in Mexico. Amelia got something I picked for her, a cute little black cat wearing a pointy hat. Why? Because that pussy put a spell on me.

* * *

**_So... whatcha think? :D_**

**_I know, I know, no Eric and Sookie. Well, dealwithit. This is a new arena for me and Pixie, but we're gonna try to do 'em justice. Let me know if this is totally fail or if you loved it!_**

**_:D_**

**_amanda_**


End file.
